If you’re like us, you’ve had numerous arguments with your kids about being on their mobile phones too much!
But how much of this is our problem and how much of it is theirs.
As parents, we feel duty bound to protect our children at all times, so when faced with the knowledge that too much screen time can cause the following issues:
- Sleep problems
- Slower development in social and life skills
- Decrease in physical health
- Problems with self-confidence and anxiety
- Increased susceptibility to brainwashing
- Behavioural issues
It’s hard to know what to do for the best.
Imposing strict rules can lead to anger and resentment, however leaving it up to them to make good choices is stressful and frustrating, because let’s face it, they are more than likely to choose being on their phones over doing some arts and crafts or helping around the house. And it’s not their fault necessarily, you see the Prefrontal Cortex (the part of the brain responsible for logical thinking, rationality and morality) has not yet developed, so monitoring themselves is not something that can do. So what can we do?!!
Here are just a couple of ideas on how to tackle issues with mobile phones:
- Model healthy electronic use – remember that your behaviour sets an example to your kids, so bear that in mind when binge-watching your favourite Netflix series, or keeping the TV on in the background while scrolling through your phone! Model the behaviour you hope to see in your kids.
- Ensure phone free car journeys – being in the car is the ideal time to make conversations with your kids, especially to and from school. So, ask that they don’t use their phones and instead talk about the good things that happen in both your days.
- Use time frames or parental controls – There are plenty of tools out there you can use to filter or block unwanted content. You can set daily screen time limits that can lock your kids out of apps after they have reached a set amount of time. Or you can simply ask them to leave their phone in the kitchen for a couple of hours after school, while they focus on other things.
- Get them involved with other activities
- Encourage them to get involved in activities that don’t require a screen like; going for walks, playing outside, reading a book, playing a board game, cooking or arts and crafts.
- Make sure bedrooms are screen-free, the temptation is too much for your kids to bear (remember the prefrontal cortex) with devices in their bedrooms, so don’t leave it open for them to go on them after bed time, this can result in, not only interrupted sleep but other sleep problems too, which is whole other subject.
Believe us when we say it, your kids will do everything in their power to convince you of their need to have their phones surgically attached to their hands at all times, but it is really important to stay strong with your boundaries so that you help them develop a healthy relationship with their phones.
We have found that by being open and honest with our kids about their phones, we can help them establish healthy relationships with them, so that as they grow and move into the teenage years, they feel that they are in control of their mobile phone usage and not that their mobile phone is in control of them!
One more thing before we sign off on this topic…. we suggest you also have the conversation with your child about cyber bullying, it’s real and it’s happening everywhere. Talk to your child about what goes on in their group chats, on websites and on the games they play online with friends. Left unchecked your child could become the victim or be the perpetrator of cyberbullying, which can lead to depression, anxiety and in extreme cases suicide. So it’s really important to have the chat!
We know it’s not easy but we see you and we believe in you, Love CJ & Debs x
